


Tears for Fears

by wickedrum



Category: Richard Armitage/Lee Pace - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Paraplegia, Romance, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:09:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedrum/pseuds/wickedrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard comes back to the house he shares with Lee to find him missing. Where could he have gotten to without help?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Urbiezira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urbiezira/gifts).



> Story was written for urbiezira on her request for a fic of a (The Fall style) paraplegic Lee being taken care of by Richard.

Disclaimers: Lee Pace, be mine. Okay, pull the other one.  
Genre: Angst.  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Richlee  
Warning: As usual with my fics, there’s unnecessary suffering. Also, fluff warning. Which is quite the opposite, an actually very strange warning for a fic that is mine!  
Mood: Determined (LJthrowback)  
Song listened to while writing: Love Me Like You Do

Richard was late, very late, though he didn’t worry about it too much. He had text Lee about it letting him know and besides, the other actor knew himself really well how taxing shooting a tv show could be and what’s more, he know how showrunner Bryan Fuller operated. At least Lee’s upstate New York farmhouse was not half a continent away from Toronto, where Hannibal was being shot and Richard could be home for the early hours of Saturday morning and spend a couple of days with his boyfriend before he had to travel back to work.

The house looked unlit and peaceful when he put the car into park. Of course he didn’t expect anything else at 2 o’clock in the morning. However, as soon as he killed the engine, turned off Coldplay’s new album he was trying out and stepped out into the frosty, early spring air that was probably just below freezing at this time of year, he could hear the maddening shrill of the fire alarm from inside the lone building in the field. The Brit could see no smoke, or fire, but it still made him rush up the steps fitted with a hoist for Lee’s wheelchair. 

The reason for the fire alarm blaring became apparent when he opened the door. There was a definite burning smell coming from the kitchen’s direction. Thankfully there wasn’t much smoke to deal with as he grabbed for a towel and pulled the pot with once boiled eggs, now a sticky brown mess, off the cooker while shouting for Lee, wondering if his boyfriend would be able to hear him over the shrill of the alarm. Sound turned off and minor emergency taken care of, he started to look for the owner of the house, apprehensive. Lee had always been insisting on being independent after the accident on the Revolt movie set where he fell off a moving, open truck and broke his spine. He had refused his parents’ offer of staying with them for a while and purchased instead every gadget and equipment that could aid him in living as self-reliant as possible under the circumstances. All he let them help with is taking his dog as he couldn’t walk Carl anymore.

The current situation however didn’t add up. Richard looked everywhere, even in places he knew the other actor would not be able to get to without the use of his legs. The Englishman on the other hand did find Lee’s phone in the bedroom and double checked through the window that the Ford Mustang adapted for a disabled driver’s needs was still in the parking lot. 

Richard came to a halt in the hallway, having looked through everything twice. He was contemplating who he should call when he heard a banging sound coming from the back where the garden was. Flicking the outside lights on, he discerned with considerable alarm that there was a hand visible at the glass portion of the rear door, knocking, shaking, desperate. The actor ran to open up without a second thought, not even occurring to him that there may be danger awaiting in such a situation, to find that it was indeed Lee who was outside, leaning against the wooden wall of the house as he sat barefoot and in a thin t shirt, shivering uncontrollably, his blue lips open as he took slow, sluggish breaths. “Oh my god, Lee, what happened!!” The Brit shed his coat immediately and wrapped the other’s torso up as much as he could, “where is your wheelchair!”

“Fell,” Lee indicated with his chin, nodding towards the edge of the porch.

“What!” Richard was starting to hyperventilate in his worry, “where you in it?” He wasn’t going to retrieve the item, getting Lee inside quicker was his priority so instead he grabbed the younger man under the armpits and hauled and pulled till they were indoors enough for him to be able to shut the door and the cold air out. 

“Didn’t hurt,” the houseowner indicated an affirmative to the question with the comment.

“Fuck,” Richard fretted, propping the other up against a leg of the worktops while he darted to turn up the thermostat to the maximum, wanting the whole house to heat up as soon as possible. 

“I could drag myself up to the door, but I couldn’t reach the latch without the wheelchair being under me. How ridiculous is that?” Lee huffed hysterically. “With my height, I couldn’t reach something.” His laugh was agitated and self-pitying. 

“We’ll need to move that latch lower, or just don’t close it when you go out,” Richard offered a solution right away as he arrived back with a bundle of duvets and blankets, “are you sure you’re not hurt?” He pulled at Lee’s t shirt, wanting to see all of him. 

“Just bruises,” the other protested, teeth loudly chattering still.

“Jesus, how long were you out there for? You have hypothermia,” Richard considered his pallid skin and rigid muscles. If this happened during the winter months, Lee would be dead by now. That was a scary thought. He rubbed his boyfriends’ arms and back for a moment before he straightened the duvet out on the floor and pulled him on top of it. He stripped just as swiftly and lay next to the American naked, then covered themselves both, producing a makeshift sleeping bag promptly.

“Since before..before it got dark,” Lee managed, curling up.

“Godsdamn,” Richard growled. Should he have called an ambulance instead up bundling Lee up in his arms? Curling around his boyfriend’s freezing back and thighs sent a shiver through him too and he couldn’t help but gasp at the sensation. “Should I get a warm shower running instead?” His fingers continued to rub the other man, his arms, his chest, the ridged expanse of his stomach. All Lee’s muscles had bulged up since he had been using them extensively to improve his mobility. 

“And how are you going to get me into the shower? Just leave it Rich, m’tired.”

Richard tightened his arms around him, blowing his warm breath onto his shoulders under the comforter. “Don’t fall asleep,” he warned. “Not until you’re warmed up.” Kisses to his shoulder freckles followed. If circumstances would’ve been different, this could’ve been perfect. He missed them spooning, they didn’t do it often enough. 

“I won’t,” Lee promised, still engulfed in the sensation of being cold, not being able to concentrate on anything else. 

In the absence of better ideas of how to heat him up quicker, the elder man leaned their heads together and reached to rub up and down his legs as well, and his toned sides and hips too. Richard wasn’t shivering when he touched the other anymore, so that possibly meant that some of his body heat had been passed on successfully at least to some extent as he embraced the other man possessively in a symbolic symbiosis he felt was completely emblematic of their relationship-he couldn’t be happy without Lee and he believed the same to be true vice versa. He had to think of other way of heating the American up though because his boyfriend was still shaking, or so Richard thought till he felt something wet dripping on his hand when he moved it to rub Lee’s hairy chest. The younger man wasn’t shivering anymore, he was shaking with sobs. “Hey, hey, what is it baby?” The Brit leaned up on one elbow to be able to look at the younger actor’s face. “Is it because you got locked out? It happens to anyone, all the time. You didn’t get hurt, did you?” He felt the need to check again.

Lee shook his head, “I can’t even go out to the garden without it being a hassle. Everything is a hassle. Everything takes so long, to dress, to make some food, to organise myself into the car. So long! How can people live like this!” He gave a shuddering sniff.

Richard sighed and hugged the other close again, his arm rocking Lee’s torso, burying his cheek into Lee’s hair and neck, “but they do Lee, they do! And they live full and happy lives. It’s okay, you just have to get used to it, alright? You are not alone in this, you hear? I’m with you. The only reason I’m not with you physically as well during the week is that you didn’t want to come with me to Toronto.” He ascertained on a soft, reassuring voice.

“It’s easier, here.” Lee swallowed his tears to be able to talk.

“You’re hiding out here and I’m not sure it’s helping,” Richard didn’t have the heart to challenge him out and out right at this moment.

“And why would I not be! Not as if I could get any jobs!”

“But that’s not true babe. I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but I know for a fact that Bryan is writing you a part as we speak. A part you can play in a wheelchair just fine.”

“Right,” Lee scoffed, “I don’t want it. I don’t want anyone’s pity, much less a person’s I thought was my friend.”

“Baby, you’re not thinking clearly,” Richard complained, “Bryan has written parts particularly with you in mind in the past, didn’t he. He just has to adapt this one to a wheelchair,” he laughed, trying to lighten the situation, “and who says you can’t audition for most things you want on that basis? Not to mention people object enough that a lot of disabled roles are not played by disabled actors. It’s like you’ve never heard of Christopher Reeves, Stephen Hawking, Peter Dinklage or Michael J. Fox. And how far are you from their grave disabilities again? Moreover, didn’t your doctors tell you your condition will most likely be temporary? You decided to take a break from acting while you concentrated on physiotherapy. Is that not right?”

“When you put it like that..” The spooned man ventured, his voice telling of him having calmed down a little, “but even if you’re right about that, it wouldn’t be the same. It’s not as if the fans want to see me like this!”

“Nobody wants to see you like this because they don’t want to see you suffer!” Richard exclaimed, “but you’re beautiful, Lee, don’t you know that? It doesn’t matter that you’re in a wheelchair, you’re perfect!”

The American gave a long pause before answered, “at least I’m not as tall now,” he joked, rubbing a hand over his face to clean up the tears. He had been trying stay strong for so long, but it was only now that he cried himself out that he felt strong. 

Richard took it as a cue to laugh, glad that the tension was dissipating from his partner. “Better now?” He asked softly, planting a kiss on Lee’s neck. There was an ache building in his groins and he was embarrassed about it. Lee was in distress and what his body was thinking about was sex. He was really angry with himself so he tried to distract himself with asking, “do you want a hanky?”

Lee pulled a bit away and manoeuvred himself awkwardly round to face him. Richard didn’t help, he knew the drill, the other did not want assistance if he could at all help it. “I’m afraid I already cleaned my nose in your covers, sorry,” he offered meekly.

“Never mind,” Richard laughed again, hoping his inappropriate hard on was going unnoticed. Nonetheless, no matter how he tried to think of cold ice blocks and vomit down a toilet, his member remained twitching and straining, dousing only his hopes that his insubordinate prick will remain overlooked. Lee’s luscious, green eyes twinkled at him, misty from something else other than tears, “you missed me, huh?” The younger man indicated his awareness of Richard’s intended to be concealed activities by reaching out to the offending body part, touching, stroking, teasing the tip. “Thank you for everything,” he whispered, “thank you for loving me,” he sidled closer for an entirely different reason than heating up.

tbc


	2. Achilles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know who I am anymore, do you? Who’s this needy person and who was Lee Pace? Will I ever be him again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a copycat second chapter, on popular demand I guess. Also, my apologies for not being able to leave out my fetish and sorry about the cliches. But it’s sometimes what we like, manifold, right?  
> Erhmm…pointless hurt and fluff warnings apply.

Richard could hardly wait till his work was done on NBC's Hannibal. He really enjoyed working on a completely different character from what he was mainly used to, but timing wasn’t quite right. The Shakespeare actor felt he should be with Lee more just now, support him with whatever was needed, despite the younger actor refusing to hold his partner back in anything, but most of all, Richard hated knowing that Lee was hurting, struggling, was being thrown into deep water with situations he wasn’t used to. The guilt over his lack of presence pained Richard. But they were thankfully on episode 13 now and there were only a few more days he would be involved with the plot for, scenes he would shoot after the weekend and be done with it and not take on another time consuming project till Lee was better. Perhaps some audio books, or reading poetry he could do and record them in his own time. 

So this would be the penultimate time he was coming home from Toronto, not knowing what to expect. As probably normal, the whole nightmare ordeal had been a rollercoaster ride from getting the phone call that Lee was being airlifted from the Revolt set in a remote area of the South-African grasslands, to every follow up meeting with Lee’s Neuro Rehabilitation Consultant, each ending with the frustrated patient praised for his efforts and progress, but unsatisfied with himself. Consequently, coming home to Lee hasn’t always been unicorns and rainbows, but Richard didn’t expect it to be. For better or worse, right? Of course there were no vows and they had not been married, nonetheless the Englishman was toying with the idea. Admittedly, he had reservations about showing his gayly side in public, but he knew it was something his partner secretly ached for and Richard did feel a little ashamed for not being able to give himself over totally, fully, unabraised by how it would be viewed by the world. For several months now, even before the accident, he had been trying to work up to proposing and now he thought it would only stress Lee out and the younger actor would become obsessed about working for walking down the isle and he was doing way too many exercises for his own good already. 

Even though Richard has assured him manifold that his love for him didn’t abate or would suffer due to his ill health, Lee had been trying extra hard to make everything perfect for his visits home, from candlelit dinners to waiting for him naked in bed despite the low mood he suffered from and busy schedules with acupuncturists and masseurs and physiotherapists. Thus the older man wanted to surprise him as well and this time arrived back earlier than expected with generous servings of falafel, meze platters and wara'anib from one of his lover’s favourite Middle-Eastern restaurants, authentic tastes of the American claimed were hard to find anywhere else outside Saudi-Arabia and Bahrain. It appeared though that most likely Richard’s efforts of offering a delicious dinner will go to waste as he found Lee in the en suite bathroom heaving into the toilet from where he was sitting on the floor, wheelchair pushed out of the way to the wall. “Lee!” The entering man exclaimed in alarm. “Don’t tell me you’re still sick with the stomach flu! On Facetime you said you were fine! From last weekend to this weekend, that is over ten days, you should see a doctor!”

“It’s nothing,” Lee finally managed after stopping with the convulsive spitting.

“You were supposed to take care of yourself, remember?” Richard debated, “so your body has the best chance to heal. I hate it that you’re out here on your own,” he shook his head. The sooner he moved in permanently, the better. “Are you finished?” He hovered, pushing the wheelchair back close to the sick man when his boyfriend indicated a hesitant affirmative. “Let’s get you to lie down then,” Richard encouraged, not sure whether Lee would allow his help. There were health and safety handling rules about aiding a paraplegic individual, the younger actor always claimed, stating that the last thing they needed is Richard getting a back injury. So he uneasily watched instead as his boyfriend pulled himself up, mostly using the by now incredible strength in his arms, but then when Lee bent to the side leaning on the arm of the chair and buried his face into a palm, the Englishman took that as a cue to arrange the numbly and awkwardly lying legs onto the footrests and angle for the seatbelt. “You ok to wheel out?” He checked once more.

Lee sighed, nodding, but not revealing himself or making any attempt at controlling the contraption he was sitting on, either with the automatic drive or using his hands rolling the wheels so it came to his boyfriend once again to roll him into the bedroom, “how are you feeling now?” Richard eyed the hoist sitting discarded in the closet. It has not been in use for weeks but perhaps Lee was too tired to lift himself over to the bed. 

“I’m a bit dizzy,” the other admitted, breath heavy and weary.

“Is there a way to call your doctor outside working hours?” Richard decided on fishing out the sliding board out of storage, also not used for weeks, and proceeded to disassemble the side of the wheelchair the board went on. 

“Leave it Rich,” Lee accepted the assistance of the mobility aid and that alarmed his boyfriend even more. “What’s wrong baby, is your stomach sore?” The Englishman pulled the pillows into place so the other man could lie down, but keep his head elevated at the same time. Probably the best if he was feeling sick.

“Not really. And I never had the stomach flu. Not this century I mean.”

“But you were tired and throwing up last weekend and you still are!” Richard sat next to his lover and put a comforting hand on Lee’s stomach, gently rubbing. 

“Correction, I occasionally throw up and certainly haven’t been doing that all week, so you see, calling my physician is completely unnecessary.”

“Well, all right, you occasionally throw up, yippie, that’s so much better,” Richard intoned sarcastically. “Wouldn’t you want to have a check up, know why?”

“I already know why.” Lee grumbled, looking away.

“Why?” 

The actor with green eyes hazarded a glance, “promise me you won’t be mad?”

Richard grunted, low and long, “I’m not going to like this, am I? But alright, I promise.”

“Come lie down next to me,” Lee requested. “I find it easier if you’re not looking at me straight.”

“Hey, no objections to lie with you!” Richard smiled, climbing over him. One his side, he organised himself in a way his head his fit onto the same pillows as well Lee was using and put a hand over his partner’s upper body, embracing him, “I’m listening.”

“Maybe you don’t want to hold me while I say this,” the younger man ventured.

Richard raised his eyebrows, “I will tell you once I know what it’s about,” he left his right arm where it was.

Lee sighed and fingered Richard’s sleeves idly, “well, it’s the drugs.”

“What drugs?” The Englishman couldn’t help the alarm bells ringing in his head, especially with the heavy build-up, but he had to remember that the American English usage of the word was completely different than the British. 

“Too much pain,” Lee turned, burying his face in Richard’s neck, “I cannot stand it any longer..”

“You’re in pain? Where? Do the doctors know about this?” The older man became animated.

“Yeah, sure,” the American sustained dismissively, “but what can they do besides giving me pain killers? It’s a spinal cord injury and it’s neuropathic pain. It’s not like there’s a magic solution.”

“But..but you didn’t have this before?” Richard argued, “how did this occur? When? You got worse and never told me?”

Lee shook his head against him, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Surprise me with feeling ill? I’m not sure it’s the best surprise?” The other actor frowned, mystified.

The younger did give a little amused snort at that, despite the circumstances, “no, Rich, that not what I meant. I can stand. I can walk with crutches a few steps. At least I could a couple of days ago before the pain got too bad…” He was sounding lost.

“What? But that’s wonderful Lee!” Richard smiled broadly, squeezing him close in his glee. 

“I wanted to show you it though, not tell you…” His partner sounded apologetic, “but now the pain is just too great. It started when I was first walking, and it never went away since, it just got worse the more I tried…I’m so tired of it! And I’m so tired of being tired and useless and an invalid! I don’t even know who I am anymore, do you? Who’s this needy person and who was Lee Pace? Will I ever be him again? Cause I haven’t met him, not since the accident,” he raved once the gates to his inhibitions opened, “I look into the mirror and it’s like I’m in costume, and there’s this character I’m stuck in, with a wheelchair and restricted in movement. I’m sorry for this Rich, it cannot be fun being with me, it’s not even me. Like, you haven’t been hiking or skiing for over 6 months and it’s because of me. You should go, or visit your family, not your needy boyfriend.”

“You’re talking a load of nonsense Lee! It’s normal to be needy in your position, but what happened to your self esteem! Of course it’s you. You’re still my Lee, the same one I talk to when I need a different point of view on a scene or character I’m playing, the same one who reads theatre plays with me nobody would think of putting on stage these days, the person who showed me how to be free and accept myself and my sexuality. That is you and it will always be you. Great outdoors pursuits aren’t exactly going to top that and replace you are they! If we never go hiking again, I would be okay with that. Why are we even talking about this anyway! One step at a time Lee, literally.”

“I can’t…what if the pain will always be too much. I have mobility back in my legs to a great extent, yet when I move them, they feel like they’re killing me. And the drugs are making me nauseous and puke…” He trailed off, swallowing, at a loss.

“You didn’t take too much, did you?” Richard frowned warily, “cause I still don’t understand why you told me not to be angry with you.”

“No, but I take maximum dose at all times. I was trying so hard Rich, I was hoping that if I dampened the pain, I could still stand up and hug you when you arrived.” The younger man explained, resting his head on the other’s chest.

“You are some stupid idiot, you know that? Yeah, yeah, I shouldn’t be angry. And I’m not. You know why? Cause that’s probably happy news. You only overreached, overloaded those nerve endings, that’s why the intense pain. You leave it to settle and then, slowly, try again. You will be fine,” Richard heartened, his eyes resting lovingly on him, his heart breaking at the other’s distress.

“You think so?” Lee’s eyelashes fluttered up to make eye contact for the first time since they have lain down, every fibre of his being wanting to believe.

“Yes, yes, I do,” the other assured rigorously, “you’ve achieved so much in such a short time. You can handle it. You can handle the pain and maybe not as convincingly, but you can handle the patience for a little bit more. I can wait and so can you.” His hand settled on Lee’s cheek, encouraging his boyfriend with the gentlest of touches to keep looking at him, trust him.

“I don’t know…it sounds so credible when you say it, yet when I’m on my own, I can’t remember, I don’t believe it.” Lee stared at him, trying to find courage in those blue eyes.

“Well then, I’ll just have to be around more,” his fingers trailed, habitually being drawn to the gorgeous features, the side of his lover’s face, that princely nose, his many beguiling freckles and perfect, full lips till he managed to elicit a faint smile from his boyfriend. Lee felt his lover’s warmth enveloping him and how was it his legs didn’t hurt just now? His stomach started dancing with butterflies and he encased Richard’s shoulders in his arms, crashing his lips onto his partner’s forcefully, on impulse. It was a surprise, but welcome change that the Englishman met with an exploring tongue and fingers travelling down to entwine his with Lee’s.

The End (really).


	3. Unrehearsed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the plotless fluff.

Chapter 3: Unrehearsed

Like as it has been his modus operandi for several months now since the accident on a regular basis, Richard was concerned. Not because of cold feet or soon having to promise out loud for everyone to hear that he will have and hold Lee for better or worse for the rest of their lives, but because he was worried his fiancé will overstrain himself. He should’ve waited with proposing, he knew that, but on the other hand, Richard wanted to cheer the American up, to make him have something to look forward to, fantasize about and plan during the long months spent with physio sessions. So here they were, on their supposed happiest day when most of the gathered friends and family should be able to see and celebrate Lee walking for the first time after the accident, yet all Richard could think about was whether his soon to be spouse would be in considerable pain during or after the feat. They didn’t even get to see each other all morning as Sally, Evangeline, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace and Anna were all insisting they should do things the traditional way and get ready separately, the same as Anna’s daughter Gracie insisted on throwing flowers down the aisle. Richard could only shake his head at Lee and his harem of women-being best of pals with them without the danger of complicating any of their lives with potential amorous relationships came so easy for Lee. 

All anxious him could do on turn was send a text over to his boyfriend, a few rooms away, but did not get an answer. Perhaps Lee was busy with his family or did not have his phone handy. “Do I need to get you a drink to relax?” His best man and brother Chris asked warily.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Richard was taking deep breaths instead, “I feel sick as it is. What is the delay? Maybe it’s because there’s something wrong with Lee.”

“Richard. All weddings start late. There’s nothing wrong, okay? Stop rubbing your sweaty hands into your tux. It’s light enough for it to be seen,” he handed his brother a napkin instead. 

“Are we ready, Richard?” The wedding organiser popped her head in, “slowly, just as we said, to give Lee a chance to take his time,” she instructed at his nod the same time as Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1 started playing as processional they had previously had such a hard time choosing. It was either that, or the Star Wars throne room tune. 

Chris nodded at him, and put a steadying hand on his little brother’s shoulders as it looked like it was him who needed the support, not the other groom. Richard was somewhat hesitant stepping forward, as much for Lee’s sakes as being thrown into deep water so to speak. He loved Lee and he had no doubts about his choices, but he had never stood up and shouted them out to the whole world. Well, it wasn’t the whole world, or even a large group of guests, but a little bit more than he had originally imagined. A well oiled slap to his back by Chris however didn’t let him freeze on spot and he was given the cue to step out the door in sync with Lee at the other side of the ceremony room and from then on, he could see nothing but his partner. 

Wearing a different, lighter shade of blue, but matching tux to Richard’s to the last detail of the white flowers in the front pocket, Lee was smiling at him ear to ear. Sally flanked him a little, but her brother disregarded the offered help with a laugh and didn’t seem to notice people’s glad reactions at the sight of him. He only had eyes for his partner and was dashing towards him as if he would’ve never needed a wheelchair. 

Richard found himself amused at the occurrence, cognisant that he will have to steady the other man when they’ve reached each other behind the rows of seats for the guests, to walk down the aisle together. As luck would have it, it only looked like Lee was embracing him when they came together, it was not obvious he actually needed bracing and when they turned to proceed arm in arm, Richard made sure they were slow enough to be safe. Somebody was apparently very eager, he thought and that made him smirk. 

Lee’s brother William was ready for any eventuality with the wheelchair at the front, but Richard didn’t venture to angle Lee towards it. They stood, holding hands, in front of the registrar, a relatively tall brunette in a suit dress, “welcome everyone. My name is Shelley Donahue, I am a New York State Wedding Officiant and I am thrilled to conduct the ceremony today. I was told to keep it simple and to the point, so at this time I would like to invite the two grooms to say the few words they have prepared instead of vows and then we will move on to the official part of the formal procedures. Richard?” She nodded encouragingly towards the first agreed speaker. 

The Englishman encouraged himself with a sigh and focussed on squeezing their trembling hands together, “Lee. I thank you. I thank you for existing, I thank you for showing me the way, I thank you for your patience, for letting me experience what freedom is, I thank you for persevering till my indecision got swallowed by a greater need for love. I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart. I am never without it, anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling. I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet, I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true, and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows  
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide  
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.” He recited his favourite poem by E.E. Cummings, loud and strong by the end, sure of himself, leaving no soul untouched in the room, judging by the hands on the chest, big sighs and even the occasional hankie to dab at corners of eyes, like Lee’s mother’s.

Lee looked a bit dazed and rather shy when he nodded at his man, acknowledging, and he would’ve rather kissed him there and then, but it was his turn. The American was also a little hesitant to start with. Their love was and always had been a private thing and just because that they had chosen to share it with their close friends and family it didn’t mean that it would always come easy. “Richard. I have never been surer of anything in my life than I am sure of you. You are my rock, my strength, my every moment and my future. I promise you that I will express my love for you in every way possible, share your pleasure and pain and let you share mine with all that I am, heart, body and soul. Love is a place  
and through this place of  
love move  
with brightness of peace  
all places.  
Yes is a world  
and in this world of  
yes live,  
skilfully curled,  
all worlds,” he also surprised Richard with one of the Englishman’s favourites and stood smiling widely with teeth showing, enjoying his reaction of awe. 

“Thank you,” the registrar realised they were finished, “now,” she let everyone get used to moving on, “wedding rings are a symbol of commitment and love. The rings are circular, like love, with no beginning and no end. They are made of solid, sturdy material which is meant to survive years and years of hand-holding, washing, swimming, tennis and tender caresses. Couples wear their wedding rings every day as a symbol of their love. Ring Bearer, please bring us the rings,” she paused till William came forward, “thank you. Richard, you will go first. Please place Lee’s ring on his ring finger and repeat after me:  
I love you…” She waited for the echo, “my heart is in this ring…My love is in this ring…I promise to be your faithful Husband…to love you through the best and the worst…through the difficult and the easy… I promise you my unconditional love…and I give you my unwavering trust…when you look at this ring, remember that I love you always…” You may slide the ring all the way onto his finger, Richard,” she instructed, “Lee, it’s your turn. My heart is in this ring…My love is in this ring…I promise to be your faithful husband/to love you through the best and the worst…through the difficult and the easy… I promise you my unconditional love…and I give you my unwavering trust…When you look at this ring/remember that I love you always…Tonight is all about love,” the registrar used a different voice to signify the end of the ring exchange. “It has been my honour to officiate your ceremony this day. And now I get to say something you’ve been looking forward to hearing. By the powers vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you married. You may kiss now.” 

It was Lee who moved forward first. Bringing his arms round the other, he closed his eyes and brought his lips to Richard’s in a soft, tender, slow-tease kiss that promised of so much more, then remained leaning his arms on his husband’s shoulders. “I’m pretty sure the whole lifting the bride over the threshold thing won’t work with my height,” he whispered, “but I think now would be a good time to do something about my legs doing overtime,” he warned, making Richard wake from his dream and wave William frantically over. 

The End.


End file.
